The Charlotte News

Tuesday, June 10, 1941

FIVE EDITORIALS

Site Ed. Note: ...For how else would you know that they breed in the water collected?--the fresh rainwater collected, the unfluoridated fresh rainwater collected, the unfluoridated fresh rainwater whereby they drain us.

Can you imagine what might happen should every brassbound birdbath, every copper gutter, every open tin can, every rimless rubber tire left out to accumulate fresh rainwater, to accumulate fresh, unfluoridated rainwater, become the spawning ground for billions on billions, even trillions, of voracious, proboscidean mosquitoes, mosquitoes just waiting to induce the fever, more malefactious than even Mussolini's minions, to every single Roman citizen? Can you imagine that?

This is why we had to have fluoridation, finally; your precious bottled water from France (or your local creekbed) is nothing more, nor less, than a breeding ground--for a myriad of tiny, voracious Transylvanian Draculas, commonly referred to as mosquitoes.

Well now, the string in our leg being gone, it being tied to the horse with more holes in its feedbag than a mule, we could say no more about that--for now.

But don't try our patience.

"Honorable 'Gasless Sunday'", says Herblock: It would lead to many things.

But the Scotch, say the Methodist Episcopalians, always kept the Sabbath, and, we take it by implication, so, too, did the Jews.

Meanwhile, to apparent yawns, the Robin Moor incurs the same fate as the Zamzam a month earlier, sinking by Nazi Boot. It would take more than that, however, the sinking of passenger vessels, to get us into a shooting war this time.

Installment 8 of Out of the Night is here. Young Mr. Valtin now takes us back to Germany where he meets his Comintern handlers, who supply him with ample enough propaganda sheets with which to inveigle to the cause of the workers' internationale the sailors and longshoremen in every port of call at which he happened to disembark--from Hamburg back to Panama, to San Pedro up to Frisco, and perhaps even out to Hawaii, those, for some reason, being in Japanese.

The word, in Japanese, is seppuku. In Italian, it's Greek to us; but in Latin, it goes something like this: "Eodem modo quo quis feloniam facere possit interficiendo alium, ita feloniam facere possit interficiendo seipsum, quæ quidem felonia dicitur fieri de seipso."

Meanwhile, Red Ryder's cattle go berserk through the streets of Frisco, afrighting all the ladies with their parasols, those by which they might float away into the ether over the fidelious fiduciary banks, to avoid all the longhorns run amuck through the streets. And, in lieu of Superman, taking a respite for a day again while, no doubt, he figures out how to save Lois from the goons who've kidnapped her, Ann Miller gives her two cents plaint for ROC Cola. Well, if Ann says so, Ahab, we'll take it on faith.

As we said, sit back, relax, have yourself your Classic, your MacDonalds, and your peanuts.