Wednesday, March 30, 1938

FIVE EDITORIALS

Site Ed. Note: We would like to alert N.A.S.A. to the idea that, so long as the stupid economy continues to dive into the realm of the Deil, perhaps rather than planning that really awesome and cool trip to Mars they've been talking about for ten years to be in 2010 (just like in the movies, don't ye know), we should instead plan a manned program to both Herberta and Hoovera, such that we might feel right at home back in good old 1929. We've even a suggestion for what to call such a program--Georgia.

On the subject of the stupid economy--and why not? Don't ye get it? This crowd wants all those little and slightly bigger businesses in trouble, not to mention some of the Big Fish, too, so that the King Fish can swallow them whole and get Bigger--while the rest of us slave away trying still to make ends meet on the mortgage or the rent. Or didn't ye figure that out back in '91-'92 sufficiently enough? Ah well…

The hackneyed old phrase for it is lacy. But the true effect of the neo-springing foliage is really more that of a cloud--or shower. Come up the hill on North Church Street and look across the park of fine old trees in the Presbyterian churchyard and you'll see that that great veil of green gives the impression of floating in suspension precisely as cumulus clouds float on the horizon on a Summer morning, or as light showers seem to float on April afternoons.

And if you climb to the top floors of one of the taller buildings, the effect is even more striking. Below you all the town, which does not ordinarily impress you as being particularly well supplied with trees, is wrapped on a billowing wave of green. Wave? One might almost say, fog. If green sea-water can be caught up and made to hang motionless in a dense, radiant mist, it would be like this--an almost incredible lightness and buoyancy, which communicates itself to every building and every object.

The President failed to mention names yesterday when he said that the deluge of telegrams to the Senate in opposition to the reorganization bill was, in part at least, "purchased."

In view of the recent activities of the Black Committee, we think we could guess whom he meant. But in spite of that, such tactics seem less than candid. If the President has any proof that somebody has been paid to send telegrams to Washington opposing legislation, he should not deal in innuendo but call names flatly. More, he should stick the Black Committee into--no, not its customary course of attempting to destroy constitutional liberties by the use of blanket subpoena, but into calling before it these people who have been paid to protest. It may not be a crime against the laws of the United States to give or accept a bribe for the sending of funny telegrams to influence legislation. But it is sufficiently an offense against sound public policy for the people to be entitled to know if it has been done.

On the other hand, if the President has no such proof, if he is merely indulging suspicion, he is the last man who ought to utter such charges. There is entirely too much of name-calling and wild words on both sides of the fence as it is. And the record seems pretty clearly to establish that the President of the United States was not the last man to follow the example.

Gen. Giuseppe Vallee, Italy's Undersecretary for Air, advises Mussolini, in connection with the latter's warnings to France to stay out of Spain, that "though the air corps has not" in the fifteen years of its existence, "been given the supreme test, it impatiently awaits your orders to do it."

Well, so it hasn't. The achievements of the Italian air corps to date are these:

1--The taking of certain military objectives in Ethiopia defended by niggers with spears.

2--The taking of certain military objectives in Spain most inadequately defended.

3--The bombing to death of some thousands of Christian black women, children, and male non-combatants in Ethiopia.

4--The bombing to death of a great many more thousands of Christians, white women, children, and male non-combatants in Spain.

Still, and granting the splendor of all this, General Valle might do well to restrain his impatience a little. If the "supreme test" comes, his corps may win, of course. But in cold blood, it is hardly certain. American airmen returned from Spain all report that the French airman is by far the finest air-fighter there, a judgment which is pretty well borne out by the record of the World War. And even though this be set down for a prejudiced judgment, it still seems fairly certain that the General will encounter somewhat more dangerous opposition than that offered by the Ethiopian and Spanish women and children.

If Congress has an uneasy fear that acceptance of the debt settlement proposed by Hungary would encourage our other debtors to insist upon the same concessions, let it worry about something else. The plain truth is that where Hungary can afford to pay--indeed can hardly afford not to pay--the United Kingdom, Italy, France and the other large defaulters cannot. They couldn't if they wanted to.

Calvin Coolidge, when he uttered that classic New Englandism to the effect that "they hired the money didn't they?" compressed in a few words all the misunderstanding that exist about the war debts. They certainly didn't hire the money. They hired the same sort of thing that Hungary hired, and as the President explained to Congress yesterday, Hungary hired flour. And it is only in flour or goods of other kinds that Hungary will be able to repay the loan. It happens that Hungary can.

For Hungary sells six or seven times as much in goods to this country as she buys from it, and that gives Hungary a sizable credit balance out of which checks on New York may be written. But most of the other debtors, including all the large ones, not only have no favorable trade balances out of which to pay their war debts but are hard put to keep up with their current accounts. They couldn't pay if they wanted to--and there's plenty of room for doubting that they would if they could.

The Europeans evidently think well of Dr. Hoover. In the course of his recent visit to them, they set him among the immortal gods. Literally. While he was in Belgium, the Brussels Astronomical Observatory discovered a new planet in the heavens and promptly named it Herberta. And, again, while he was in Austria the Vienna Observatory not to be outdone, proceeded to discover another planet and named it Hoovera!

That's greater honor than ever before came to mortal man. The ancient Greeks, indeed, used to raise their great heroes to the status of demi-gods and set them in the heavens. But not among the planets. The best that even Hercules could rate was a mere constellation. Sometimes, to be sure, the names of Herschel and other astronomers are, in modern times, secondarily attached to the planets. But, both in ancient and modern times, the names of these great shining bodies have always been reserved primarily for the high gods sprung from the Titans and Zeus--for Jupiter himself, for Venus new- sprung from the foam, for baleful Mars, old Uranus, and so on.

We can think of only one possible fly for Dr. Hoover's cup. It's fine to have planets named after you, but the American manner of paying homage is by name-saking children. And there are precious few H. H. Smiths, or H. H. Joneses or H. H. Browns, among the offspring born between '28 and '32.